


Forgotten

by monwonpanda



Series: SonShin(e) [8]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Destiny, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pointless, Siblings, Slice of Life, cute brotherly vibes, first time drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 15:45:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monwonpanda/pseuds/monwonpanda
Summary: starts off with Hyunwoo with his sister, Jihyun. Ends with showho. Kinda fluffy but mostly pointless.





	Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> I think shownu has a sister but she's in no way related to Jihyun's character since i know nothing about her.

"You know, this wasn't necessary," Jihyun smiles.

Hyunwoo looks at her like he doesn't believe her.

"I mean, we could always do it another day. like chuseok or something," she was looking forward to that.

"I know," he nods quietly but offers no further argument.

She's used to this. When they were younger, she used to count his every spoken word. It was some childish attempt to prove her theory about him having a daily word count. What other excuse was there to be so selective with his words and expressions. She knows now, that's probably not the case but she likes to pretend it is. It distracts her from unknown or the urge to know. Maybe she didn't want to admit things hadn't changed, her brother hadn't changed and even if she's turning eighteen, she doesn't feel like she's changed.

One by one, Hyunwoo fills each glass to the brim. The sight makes Jihyun nervous but there was no turning back now. Sure, their relationship had been strained but there was no way to avoid it. He was busy and they hadn't put that much effort into it anyway but do siblings ever? They were reasonably close by default but the default status had fallen way once he moved out.

Now, she hates how she can't completely shake the nerves when around him. Even if she is touched, even if she is happy that he remembered because she hadn't until he pitched up at their doorstep in the middle of the night.

_"Once you turn eighteen, you and I will drink. How much you want, whatever you want but you drink with me first in the house. Okay?" he had been thoroughly drunk himself that time, which in turn made him more talkative and affectionate._

Drinking alcohol posed some kind confirmation of adulthood, something about him wanting to share it with her made her chest warm and it still does.

They suspiciously position themselves on on either side of the table, moving carefully to avoid making any noise. Jihyun doubts her parents knew their son was here at all. After going out for supper, her parents slipped back into the routine and went to the bed as usual. It was late, even for her to be up and yet Hyunwoo was confident enough to turn up without even so much as a text.

"You ready?" he offers a lopsided smile, his eyes disappearing underneath the shadow of his nags.

The row of white spirits assembled an ocean between them, something in her fiercely wanting to cross it, to conquer it. The space between them had always been almost impossible. No matter how much they share, no matter how comfortable she felt with him, he always seemed miles away. she was almost there, right next to him, only to realize that she was only grazing the surface.

"ready,"

He looks at her amused and she almost blushes at her determination.

"You drinking with me?" she asks uncertainly, her fierceness put on hold.

"Of course," he laughs quietly as he slides a cup in her direction.  
Shakily she raises her glass and he clumsily does the same.

"A toast," she mumbles to herself.

He hums quietly as he pouts," Happy birthday, happy eighteenth birthday Jihyun,"

He hadn't said her name in forever, it doesn't quite sound right coming from him. She doesn't dwell on it, her doubts diminished by some form of over powering giddiness. The glasses quietly click and she watches as he downs it, his head falling back as he does. She mirrors the actions but doesn't far enough before her features scrunch up and she hunches over.

"That was horrible," she sneers, looking a the glass in disgust.

If their parents weren't soundly asleep, Hyunwoo might risk a full-blown laugh but they are and he settles for a stifled giggle.

It's like nothing she's ever tasted before. Almost oily and bitter but somewhat chemically. - is that even a descriptive word. Chemically, it really did taste like some kind chemical.

"Next one," he prompts and dares she say, she panics.

"Come one," he whispers,"the night's just beginning."

Jihyun glances at the row of shooters and it feels like the ocean has transformed from a rather calm one into roaring wavering one. She wasn't going to make it to other side but god damn, she was going to try.

Feigning confidence, she talks herself into believing it wasn't that bad as they down another round.

It tastes horrible and burns like hell but by their fourth round, she's dealing with it better.

"I feel really hot," she complains as she reaches for the water.

"It's the alcohol," he answers but she knew that.

They go through another three rounds before Ji starts to really feel it. She has to admit, this is exact;y how she expected to feel.

Brave, she felt really brave. " Drink more, drink more, I feel like I'm going to get drunk and you're going to laugh at me," she confesses.

It brings a wide smile to his face, "I'll probably laugh more,"

He obliges her none the less and knocks a few back solo as she watches in amazement.

Staring down at the glass in front of her, she throws it back with confidence and blanks when she doesn't shudder at the awful taste.

If only for a brief moment, she's pretty proud of herself.

"Not that bad right," he chirps.

She nods in agreement but suddenly feels the urge to pee and the pride evaporates in the air because she can't feel her legs.

"Hyunwoo, I can't feel my legs," she states blankly.

"Did they go missing?" he cracks a dad joke.

"I'm serious," she whines,"I need to pee."

"Can't be helped," he mumbles as he gets up and tries to help her to her feet, which had mysteriously returned. She saunters for a bit but finally gains her balance.

"I'm fine," she poises herself and walks off.

Somehow in the quiet of the bathroom, she falls under a new wave of concerns. Concerns that weren't important until she was out of his sight, painful concerns, heavy concerns and most importantly, ones she can't avoid.

She's still mildly lost when she opens the door and comes face to face with her brother's chest.

Looking up at his concerned face, she squints her already small eyes,"It's not fair, why can't I be tall too?"

He doesn't answer but just makes his way back to the lounge and she follows, watching his back with clouded eyes.

"Hyunwoo," now she was brave and emotional," did you ever feel like God forgot about you?"

He's on the floor already, bottle in hand when he looks up at her with a tight smile,"All the time."

"But," she persists,"You made it, your dreams, you achieved it"

_but I have no dream._

"Guess you can say that but life isn't that simple. You just don't go point A to point B," he shrugs and continues pouring.

"But what about people like me," she mumbles,"what about people who don't have dreams?"

That more or less sets the mood, Hyunwoo realizes where this coming from"Ji, You're eighteen. There's time for that."

"But other people-" she whines as she clumsily sits down.

"Everyone is different but no one, not even those with dreams, have their life figured out at eighteen. I'm twenty-five and barely know what I'm doing with mine," he explains casually.

If she wasn't drunk herself, Jihyun would have noticed her brother falling under the spell of the spirits.

"So we're both forgotten," she adds, oddly comforted by the idea she's not alone, she's not the only outlier. Maybe it ran in the family.

"Guess you're not alone." he concludes, a sudden burst of enthusiasm sparkles in the depth of his dark eyes," It's not fair. we should do something about it."

"We should," she agrees, she has already tried by studying harder, making more friends, putting more effort into her grooming. Anything and everything that simulates the life of a person going somewhere and yet here she was.

"We need to talk to God, " she summarises with a pout and crossed arms.

"So basically pray," Hyunwoo adds lamely.

"No," she huffs,"Talk to him or her or them."

"Here?" he offers as he continues drinking.

They could, they say God is every where but that wasn't aggressive enough for Jihyun. They needed to go see God.

"Not here but I know where,"

-

Realistically speaking, two drunk people setting upon an expedition to confront God about their unjust treatment in the early hours of the morning isn't really the safest of ideas. Then again, safety and alcohol aren't exactly friends.

The cold air offers little discouragement, both siblings much too intoxicated to be bothered by the cold. Hyunwoo lingers behind, his long legs awkwardly navigating his way as he tries to keep up with his sister's speed. Jihyun is almost running, a part of her scared this liquid courage might dissolve at any moment.

It takes a while but Hyunwoo notices the path, one he's taken multiple times in youth.

"The park?" he thinks out loud.

Now that he thinks of it, there was a shrine there. Their grandmother uses to take them to when they misbehaved. It was pretty old and damaged back them. Hyunwoo can hardly believe it lasted that long.

Before he knows it, there they are, in front of the withered wooden shrine. It's petite with a rusted brass bell that seems stuck.

"Yah," she half yells," it's not fair."

For a long while, Hyunwoo just stares at his sisters, mouth agape.

"I do everything that I'm supposed to. I go to school, I get above average marks, I'm a good daughter, I clean, I cook and yet you don't have a future for me. That's- that's just mean!" She half yells, half whines.

"I - I want to know what to do with my life too," she mumbles as she tries to regain her breath,"Anything, just a little direction."

Staring at the ground, she's none too happy about coming face to face with her own fears. With thoughts of becoming a failure, of picking the wrong career and regretting it for the rest of her life, of becoming a bitter person that looks at other people with envy.

She's scared she won't be happy.

"I'm lonely," Hyunwoo's quiet voice evades the panting.

JiHyun looks at her brother's blank face with wide eyes," what-"

Hyunwoo looks straight at the sky like he's conversing with the heavens," I don't want to be alone. Everyone seems to have someone, I want someone,"

A lover, a friend, anything he just wants someone for himself.

Somewhere amidst the daily routine, Hyunwoo soon realized he doesn't want his accomplishments to be just for himself. What good would it be if everyone had to leave and return to their own homes at the end of the party, what good would he be if he was left alone to clean up.

Nothing, how is this the life he wants to lead, how is a life with just one path meant for him? Was he just suppose work harder and harder, to what point? Until they adore him, till they make it, till they win numerous awards. He would have them, his members until they returned to their people, to their friends, their lovers and family.

And Hyunwoo would just be the plus one.

That hadn't bothered him until now. His apparent lack of social cues or mixed expressions didn't pose any adverse effects until he looks back and realizes maybe it did.

"A red string," Jihyun blurts out,'That's what you need."

He looks at her puzzled in the dimly lit park.

"Okay," she takes a deep breath and explains," There's this thing I read about there being a string tied around your finger and the finger of your soulmate. It would be nice if you could see it. Imagine how easy that would be instead of all this dating drama."

Hyunwoo doesn't necessarily need a lover but the concept was pretty tempting.

"A string huh," he muses out loud as he eyes his hand, just the thought of his supposed soul mate being tied to him completely blowing his mind.

Standing up straight, he takes a few steps ahead of Jihyun and looks ahead of the shrine. There's not much he can see but he would like to think God was hiding in the depths of the shadows or the grooves of the wood.

"Please, I want to see my string, I want to meet the person meant for me," Hands together in prayer, he bows deeply three times before returning to the upright position. He read somewhere that someone should be specific when requesting gifts from the universe, how more specific could he get.

Jihyun blinks a few times before coming to his side. They weren't here to point fingers, they were here for justice.

"Please, direct me," her vocab not nearly as capable as Hyunwoo in this state,"I don't want to regret. So please, let me know I'm on the right path."

"Please," they emphasis in unison.

When Hyunwoo opens his eyes, this may as well all be in his head but he feels lighter.

"You think God listened?" Jihyun quietly whispers.

"Yeah,"Hyunwooo nods dumbly," I think so."

After a few moments of silence, Jihyun looks up at her older brother. If possible, she feels like she's discovered a new side of him completely, a side of him that would benefit from some company. Jihyun wanted to be that person, Jihyun wanted to be important to him as he was to her.

"Push me," she calls out as she slides onto the swing.

"That's not a good idea," Hyunwoo points out.

True enough, it wasn't and she knew this,"For old times sake, just like when we use to come here with grandma."

There was no way of denying her. With little force, he pushes her, her legs straighten as she ascends and curls back when she descends.

Looking straight up, she hadn't quite noticed the faint stars in the sky,"Higher, I wanna go higher."

He does just that, steadily pushing her till she feels like she's soaring through the air, till the numbness of her cheeks dull away and she becomes hyper-aware.

He senses her change of vibe, "Shall we go home?"

"Yeah," she smiles, ignoring the pains in her tummy.

Upon the walk, Jihyun quickly realizes just how careless they've been," What if someone recognized you. Your career would be massacred,"

She can already see the headlines, Idol find drunken waltzing through streets.

Her brother just waves it off," You'll defend me right?"

Jihyun beams," Of course I will."

-

"Staying?" she asks quietly when the slip inside the apartment.

Hyunwoo was tired and it was late but for some reason, he felt like he needed to get back to the dorm,"Nah, I'll get in trouble."

Jihyun tries not to show how relieved she is. She knew whatever went down before, was coming right back up. She preferred her brother not be around. She can only imagine him trying to awkwardly help her and she rather save herself the embarrassment and suffer alone.

Downing a tall glass of water, he slips his jacket on. Upon the table, Jihyun notices a small packet covered in hearts.

 _Birthday present_ ,"For me?" she asks as she digs inside the packet.

she finds a black dairy planner with cat ears and a silver buckle to seal it.

"For next year, when you start college," Hyunwoo adds lamely.

She smiles brightly, admiring the book until she feels something else in the packet. Right at the bottom of another smaller packet is a dainty chain with an antique Lockhart. It's silver with her name and birthdate engraved on it. She's in awe of its beauty and Hyunwoo doesn't know whether her silence is favorable or not.

"It's not from here. Got it made in Dubai, was keeping it. Actually, it was Hoseok's idea to get your name engraved," He explains bashfully.

"It's beautiful," she murmurs as she further caresses.

It doesn't matter if it was Hoseok's idea, the thought alone of Hyunwoo looking for a gift for her made her happy. He had kept all this time and that made her even happier.

She wants to blame the alcohol but honestly, the intoxication had dulled down quite a bit but she doesn't mention this when she circles her arms around her awkward brother.

"Thank you," she murmurs into his chest.

-

When Hyunwoo returns to the dorm, he's greeted with the dull light of the monitor. Hoseok's so lost in his work, he barely notices the elder's presence until Hyunwoo tries to sneak up on him and Hoseok sees his reflection.

"You're late," is the first thing Hoseok points out before scrunching his nose," And drunk."

Hyunwoo ignores him," she said to tell you thank you for the gift."

Hoseok shrugs as he spins around," So, how was it? Took longer than I expected, I thought your'll were just going to have a few drinks,"

"Yeah, things happened. Told you, she's weird-"

"You're weird," Hosek cuts in.

"We're both weird but I'll tell you about it later," Hyunwoo stretches.

"Yeah, let's go to bed. You know there's no morning grace with Kihyun," Hoseok starts switching of his equipment, the room now shrouded in darkness.

Luckily too because Hoseok can only imagine his expression when Hyunwoo asks him,"Where you waiting for me?"

"Maybe," Hoseok plays it off with a tease.

"Why?"

Hoseok stands up and stares into the dark outline f Hyunwoo," I don't know. I felt uneasy. You took so long, I kept thinking something was wrong. Over active imagination got the best of me,"

They don't delve deeper but rather quietly slip into bed. Hyunwoo almost immediately asleep, leaving Hoseok to stare into the dark.

-

_When Hyunwoo first lost his dog, his grandmother explained how things never die. As long as you miss them, as long as you think about them, they will be living and solid as your own existence. He kept a book where he tried to draw her, a short corgi name Manjoo. over and over, he would try to refresh his memory, so desperate to remember, so desperate to keep her alive._

_He wonders if anyone would do the same for him?_

_he wonders,_

"Oi," A hushed voice interrupts his inner musing.

Hoseok grabs the sleeping leader's shoulder and shakes it gently," Wake up. Everyones had a shower except you and Hyungwon and he won't go until you do,"

Hyunwoo groans, he really didn't have enough sleep. He tosses and turns until he starts to feel his muscles warm up. Whining a little at the evading light, he ever so slightly opens his eyes. Hoseok is at his side in a pair of jeans and white shirt, he's busy trying to wake up Hyungwon by blowing cold air into his ear.

"Hoseok," Hyunwoo talks without thinking," Would you miss me if I left."

The question seems to catch him off guard and he gazes snaps down at the dazed figure. Hyunwoo thinks he sees an ocean of panic and worries but then Hoseok brings a finger up to his lips and all Hyunwoo can focus on is the thin red translucent string tied around the digit.

Hyunwoo eyes follow it and sure enough, it leads right back to his own hand, tightly wrapped his ring finger. He doesn't even know it but he's smiling foolishly at his hand, the alcoholic after taste disregarded.

"I wouldn't let you leave. Sorry not sorry but we're in this together. You don't get to just up and leave" Hoseok states as they lock gazes," I won't let you."

There's moment of stillness and Hyunwoo watches as Hoseok's features gradually soften, as if begging him not to leave.

Hyunwoo wants to tell him he never would. He could never leave them or maybe he could never be without them or maybe just him.

"Why are your'll so intense this early in the morning?" Hyungwon croaks as he shifts.

Hoseok redirects his attention, choosing to ignore Hyungwon," Go bath."

"Just now," the lanky boy whines and Hyunwoo slips out bed, his fingers fiddling with the transparent string.

-

_That night_

Hyunwoo is surprised at the abundance of energy he has at the end of the day. He texts his sister and apparently things haven't been going that well for her. He wonders if he should tell her about the red string? He wonders if he should tell anyone. Then again, who would really believe him?

Most of all, what was he suppose to do with it. Right now, he was quietly aware of it but if he had to confess, would Hoseok feel pressured. He doesn't want his friend to feel like he had no choice in the matter. Being a romantic, Hoseok could possibly view this positively or feel like they've been robbed of their courtship. Hyunwoo would still indulge him but he would hate it if Hoseok had to feel like he wasn't entitled to doubt, just because they had the assurance of the red string.

In the end, Hyunwoo decides against telling anyone. There was no point, his reasons of concern were adequately dealt with. Even if things hadn't changed between them, Hyunwoo realizes he's never really been lonely.

"Hey," he murmurs as he approaches the other.

Hoseok looks at him and removes his earphones," You said something, Woo?"

He's never noticed it before but really, only Hoseok calls him that name.

"What you busy with?" He asks dumbly.

Hoseok quirks a brow, trying to pull his messy hair behind his ears" Just messing around really. Why?"

"Nothing," Hyunwoo shrugs," Just wondering, you were saying you wanted to a track together, did if you had anything in mind?"

Hyunwoo almost chuckles at the younger's surprised expression, he was always so easy to read," I do, I mean I got most of the lyrics. It's kind of long, it's going to need heavy editing,"

"We should work on it," Hyunwoo mutters,"when you got time, that is."

Hyunwoo wonders if he's known about Hoseok all along. Thinking back, he's been putting this off for quite a while and he never really understood why. Just one of those things he's avoided under the facade of being too lazy or too tired. Hoseok had persisted until he seemingly accepted Hyunwoo's excuses as rejection.

"Now maybe?" Hoseok smiles, hair falling haphazardly into his crescent eyes.

"Now is perfect," Hyunwoo goes to grab a chair.

An hour or two into the editing, Hyunwoo has to wonder if he's avoided Hoseok because of this lingering comfort he feels when they're together. This atmosphere that makes them go on and on, not really bothered by their surroundings.

"Break,"Hoseok calls as he stretches.

Neither had the noticed but time really flew by. Most of the members are asleep and the dorm is dead.

Hyunwoo crashes on the couch as Hoseok digs in the fridge. They sip at the flavored ice-tea in silence, at ease with the stillness. Hoseok hisses as he stretches once again and places his can on the counter. Shaking off a few kinks in his neck, he yawns loudly. For a moment Hyunwoo thinks Hoseok is going to fall onto his side. It was evident he was much more tired than he let on but instead, Hyunwoo watches amusedly as Hoseok's head falls into his lap.

The younger curls onto his side and wedges his hands between his knees. Somehow, he manages to fit himself on to the length of the sofa.

"Woo," he murmurs.

Hyunwoo hums in return.

"Pet me," Hoseok was considered fairly shameless but Hyunwoo didn't miss the shyness his voice was trying to hide.

Placing the can aside, Hyunwoo sets upon a task he never thought he would enjoy as much as he did. Slowly he weaves his hand through Hoseok's dark tresses, watching as he red string glides smoothly through the locks. The hair is fairly damaged from all the bleaching but still pretty smooth. His fingers graze the younger's scalp and he feels hoseok's smile against his thigh.

Had things always been this easy?

There's a light ping and Hyunwoo uses his free hand to fish out his phone, Hoseok whining at the disturbance.

_So needy._

Jihyun  
Your grammar is atrocious. ah, maybe I should become an editor.  
(11:23)  
Or maybe a journalist. Don't worry, I'll write good articles about you.  
(11:25)

Hyunwoo chuckles quietly.

Hyunwoo  
There's nothing bad to write about me anyway.  
(11:26)

Jihyun  
Headlines: Famous Korean boy band's leader found intoxicated on the roadside.  
(11:30)

Okay, he cracks an actual laugh this time. It's even funnier because of the reality of it.

"Who you talking to?" Hoseok asks, as he twists his neck and squints his reddened eyes.

"My sister," he replies, realizing just how long it's been since they last texted each other.

"Oh," Hoseok mumbles," That's nice. You think of her but you hardly talk to her. It's nice."

Hyunwoo doesn't know how to react to that, had he been that transparent or had Hoseok just been extra observant. Then again, he usually finds himself divulging more information than he would like to when they were together.

Jihyun  
Lol go to bed.  
(11:40)  
You can do anything you want  
(11:43)

Hyunwoo was sure of it. Even if she isn't sure right now, she can always choose something and divert in college. Their parents wouldn't tie her down if she wasn't coping. Plus, he would always be there for moral and financial support. She had options, he would make sure of that.

"You should meet her, I think the two of you would get along,"Hyunwoo says, unsure whether Hoseok is still awake.

"Yeah, we should do something sometime," he mumbles his sleepy reply.

"Maybe Chuseok," Hyunwoo offers a tad hesitantly.

"Yeah, let's do that. I forward to meeting the sister of the Shownubot," He jokes.

Jihyun  
I know that ; )  
(11:47)  
Good night  
(11:48)

Locking his phone, Hyunwoo is left in the dimly lit room, accompanied by Hoseok's hushed breathing. He really should wake him up but he's enjoying the sensation of the younger's hair, not to mention the little sounds of annoyance he makes whenever Hyunwoo detracts his hand.

Looking down at the sleeping figure, Hyunwoo had to wonder how he got things so wrong. Some one for himself, a person to call his own that would remain when everyone went back to their own home. He wanted to be someone's home, he was apart of many but he wanted one for himself.

He didn't have one but instead, he was blessed with two. There was his sister, his family, and Hoseok, his lover and friend.

Maybe God didn't forget them after all, maybe they forgot themselves along the way. Hyunwoo can't believe he ever doubted wanting to be anywhere but exactly right here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> what i came up with when i tried motivating myself to write again. Tnx.


End file.
